It's not like change is avoidable. No one and nothing cannot not change. So, for you people to say that I've changed and that it should be up to find out how is so full of bullshit. Yes, I may have changed and yes maybe at first it was not the good kind of change, but you have not seen me for the longest time. You don't know what I do everyday. You're practically not present in my life. You have not talked to me or even tried checking up on how I am for a long period of time and then you fucking judge me and say "Well yeah you've changed. I hope that doesn't ruin your day." Well guess what. It's 2am and my day has already ended so it doesn't really matter. And don't worry, it was already ruined enough before you even added damage, thank you very much. I just want to scream at you that you don't know me. I want to be selfish and just keep going on about how you don't know ME, how you don't understand ME, and how you have no right to judge ME. But no. Even at this state of mind and emotion, I am still trying hard to understand what made you say that. Just because I turned you both down? Just because I managed to "hurt your feelings"? I don't know I really don't want to think badly of you and I am trying my best not to. Like I said, you have not talked to me for a long time, so I don't really know much about what's going on with you. That makes it harder for me to decipher what's in your mind. I hate this. I hate that I don't even want to go to YFC because of you, and I guess sort of because of everyone else. I hate that I don't even want to go near the group of people I trusted and loved so much. Screw you for talking about me behind my back.

10:47 AM