Honestly, I dunno what it is. Something complicated for sure. It's a risk to love someone.

I seriously don't know. Right now, love for me is unknown, a mystery I want to solve.

[The love I'm talking about is the kind na you commit yourself to the person. You know, like the love of the wife for the husband and vice versa.]

So if anyone has any clue, please tell me. Enlighten me on your experiences. Wag na si Lance, nakakalito mga pinagsasabi nun. Peace dude. Hahaha

Kakainis naman, ang hirap magcompose ng song. :( But I want that 100,000 so bad. >:)

....That was awkward. Sana lang we can still open up to each other kasi siya lang yung nakikinig sakin. And at least sometimes nagshshare din siya. Di tulad ni R2D2, sinasabi lang "Musta na?" or "Hello?" or "...something something I'd rather not put here....". Parang brother na ewan ko na rin si alipin eh.

Screw Ms. Reyes. I hate her for dumping the stupid HE research on me. She gave my classmates at least 2-4 days to redo their homeworks. She gave it back to me and told me to pass it tom. ARGH! UNBELIEVABLE!

Screw Jorik. I told him NOT TO EAT THE MUNCHERS BECAUSE I WANT THEM FOR MYSELF. I bought 4 PACKS of those flavored green peas. The other day he asked if he could eat one so I said okay. Then when I looked, he ate 2 FREAKING PACKS. So I implied to him that the effing snack is for me and not for him. He only asked permission to eat one. Then today I wanted to eat it, thanks to the bad day I was having. Guess what? HE ATE THE LAST 2 PACKS.


I swear I'm going to burst. I was so mad I wanted to cry then punch him. Puta I'm losing my head. Sorry, I needed to explode here.

I've never felt so bored today. Not even the internet satisfied my boredom. I had to wake up early pa for the stupid blood test in Asian. It took a long time for us to be called pa naman because the laboratory downstairs was closed due to the holiday. I came home and had piano. No voice because I don't have one right now. LOL Anyways, I finally went to Isa's but all we did was watch TV and stalk Zac Efron. Hahahaha I still have to read Peaches. And yeah, start Noli pa pala. Hay nako....

I guess I'm getting used to the stress of Junior year. So much stuff to do and suddenly this three-day weekend. Lovely resting day. Hahaha

Oh yeah, my body scan nung Saturday was....okay.. It was FREEZING in the room and the hospital gown they gave me was too big and kind of thin so it was really a challenge to keep still for 40 hrs. The guy was playing calming music so I was able to fall asleep.

The next scan took about 10-15 minutes. The first one i really fell asleep. This one I was half asleep lang. The music was more modern in this room. The girl was playing Ashlee (sp?) Simpson kasi. That was a nice observation. Haha

Then last night I felt like I didn't sleep. As in when I woke up I looked either super puyat or like I cried myself to sleep. I think kasi my dream was all weird and tiring, thanks to the book I was reading [Panic by Jeff Anderson. I think. Hehe]

Anyways, I was just really bored so I blogged. If I'm not blogging regularly like I am now, it means third year's pressuring me again.

Funniest [funny= funny AND weird AND labo] thing happened Thursday night. Since Kim wasn't allowed to sleep in the room, I was all alone. I usually sleep at around 11 or 'latest' 12. No idea why. Anyways, this time kasi I seriously couldn't sleep kasi the whole afternoon I was asleep. When night came, I seriously couldn't sleep. Instead, I did some thinking.. College has been a big issue. I was getting problematic because I didn't know what course I wanted to take yet. Since I didn't know what course to take, I didn't know what my future career would be. I started thinking of possibilities. One would be to become a pediatrician because my mom wants me to be a doctor. Dunno why, she knows I hate science. [She originally wanted me to become a surgeon but i said HELL NO.] Then of course there's music and dance, or showbiz.

I started thinking, "Oh cool, showbiz would be fun." Then another thought: I can't act. I was thinking, "What if I DO end up in showbiz? What if they make me cry?" Theater interested me more than pediatrics so I said to myself "Ok better try acting it out. Try crying." So I did. [Ok sory but my mind is whacked up. Forgive my stupidity.] At first I was like "Ok, nothing's happening. My face is just scrunched up." So I started thinking of the last time I cried so easily. I started thinking of the last thought in my mind that made me cry so fast. Daddy.

It was the day Daddy died. Kim went to Baila kaya she wasn't with us. I was supposed to buy some stuff in ATC so I was thinking that I could just hitch a ride. My mom got so mad at me kasi sina Tita Beth called her na, and I only knew na it was something serious halfway to Baila. She was telling me "Why'd you have to ride with us pa kasi?! Kakainis... Tony bilisan mo nga!!" I started getting pissed at her but I decided to look at it in her perspective. I decided not to go to Town and accompany her to the hospital nalang. I was still pissed kasi she didn't have to be so harsh on me but I let it go. I had to. Ang selfish ko naman not to consider that her dad was dying; that MY grandfather was dying; that he was practically dead. I remember it. Just the thought that my mom could've missed his death made me so guilty. I cried partly because of that. Then I imagined myself in her shoes. How would I feel if my dad was dying and it was so annoyingly traffic? What would life be without my dad? My parents? I remember scooting away from Mama [kasi I was sitting at the middle of the three passenger seat. I inclined my chair and looked away. The tears were flowing silently. Well I thought silently. I could hear my breathing hitch a little so i turned my back on her. I think she heard me choke because she tapped me on my back and got a tissue for me before getting one for herself.

Then the tears came. First one then two then more. As in MORE.

I kept crying and all I heard was this chanting in my head. "Daddy....Daddy...." [Ok sounds scary but not in my head. More like a sad weeping chanting or something.]

Even when the chanting was replaced by whooping [in my head again] kasi I was able to make myself cry. And easily pa. I was like "Woooo! I can be an actress! I can win an Oscar baby! Yeah man, I rock!" Outside though I was still crying. And then I thought "Ok why the hell am I still crying? Stop crying na Ika."


And I did. As in just like EGAY when it would be pouring so hard then after a few second complete silence because it just stopped raining.


I am so weird.


Wow the screen is kinda blurry. So's the keyboard.





I think I just cried again.....


Damn.

There are a number of things that people have said to me in my life. Some of them are good, some of them are bad but all of them will always stay with me for they are the most unforgettable things in my life. I put these for the most random reasons. Basta the main reason the "saying" is included is because I cannot and will not ever forget them. Guess who said them nalang. :)

1. Sus. Wag ka mag-alala. Di galit sayo bestfriend mo. Kaw pa, mahal na mahal ka nun eh.
2. Good morning sunshine!
3. Sis! I have tsismis for you...
4. Focus!
5. OI DIYOSA NG KAGANDAHAN AT KASEXYHAN!!!! ADVANCE HAPPY BDAY
6. Patay na patay sayo yun noon eh..
7. Uhm, kami na.
8. I will treat you as my enemy! Pinikon mo ko. Damn shit!
9. Poing. Jajaja
10. Kaka you have food?
11. Overnit!
12. He's too pretentious. [ =)) ]
13. Cloud 9 cloud 9! [supposed to be code red. haha]
14. Hey, wanna dance?
15. Helphelphelphelphelphelphelp me...
16. For example, Maraology..... [LOL what a give away]
17. When God created Erika he had the word "beautiful" in mind.
18. Pag binagsak ka ng teacher mo sabihin mo sa kanya, "Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you."
19. Ohhh Diggyy..... [ =)) This person will so kill me for putting this here..]
    

There are more, I promise. I'm just a bit distracted right now kaya di ko maalala lahat. I find a lot of them memorable because they made me laugh out loud. I wonder if these people will know who they are. :))

Exams are FINALLY over. They should've long been over but because of EGAY, classes have been suspended. Oh well....

SUBJECTS I WISH TO KILL [if possible]
note: SUBJECTS I want to kill. NOT teachers. O:-)

1. History
2. Composition
3. Literature

SUBJECTS I'M HAPPY ABOUT

1. Geometry
2. Chemistry

SUBJETS I'M SCARED TO SEE BUT FEEL A BIT OK ABOUT

1. Philosophy
2. Filipino

Histo test was too long. 5 mins before time nalang and I only answered 1 or 2 out of 5 essay questions. Chemistry and Geometry were fun. Hahaha. Wow, I never thought I'd use that adjective on an exam. Tapos of all subjects, chem and geom pa. LOL

I'm pissed off! I have no idea why but I have a sore throat right now. Paos ako and I can barely talk, let alone sing. :( I don't know how to treat it so I'm waiting for it to disappear nalang. O:-) It isn't coughs or colds eh. I don't feel like sneezing naman or coughing. It's just that I have o voice. Sad. :(

Isis' party tom, Alabang 400 Clubhouse.............where the hell is that..............and I do not have hippie clothes so I have no idea what to wear tom. Lagot ako.

As promised, I will blog about the dengue part. :| I'll try to make it short. Hehe

At first we didn't know that it was dengue. I had a check up Monday, after my birthday, and the doctor said to check if my fever would go up and down in the next few days. When it did we had to go back to the doctor. I remember my mom packing me clothes na. Just in case daw na maconfine ako that day. I knew na that when she said that I will be confined. I did. My stay there was kinda ok lang. I couldn't have total comfort because of the IV line/ the dextrose in my arm. Whenever I needed to go the bathroom I had to call a nurse. Super hassle grabe. And then because of the fever, my throat and the area where I chew were swollen so it was really hard to eat because it hurt to chew and swallow.

It made up though for the people who visited me. Thanks to those people!

1. Ana
2. Isa
3. Lorena
4. BC
5. Issa
6. Martin
7. Pam
8. Armaine
9. Amaw
10. Mara P
11. Carlo
12. and my titos and titas who are too many to mention. :D Sorry.

Thank you most of all to my parents [and Ate Marivic] for taking care of me the whole time. <3

7:45- 9:00 Woke up, tried studying chem but really couldn't understand molar mass so i gave up.
9:00-10:00 Breakfast, played piano with sibs
10:00-11:00 Took a long bath :D
11:00-12:30 All set for Lea's blowout but Ate wasn't ready yet so had to wait. Tried understanding molar mass again but failed. Ended up falling asleep. Left for ATC.
12:30-2:00 Lunch at CPK! wooo! thanks lea!
2:00-2:15 Isa taught me molar mass! Happy that at least i kinda get it na
2:15-2:45 went with the people to buy their movie tickets. timezoned. saw myco there with his guy friends. wala pa kasi yung girls. lol
2:45-4:30 went around by myself muna. bought a shirt in switched. ate came and we went around. she bought a dress and i bought another shirt in artwork. taking advantage of the sale eh. hehe. went home cuz mama started getting mad.
4:30-5:30 wala. nasa bahay lang. kwento-kwento with kim. ;))
5:30-6:30 mass

basta. usual stuff na yan. dinner, etc. i will elaborate next time na rin about the fun blowout of lea. hehe

It's been long since I've blogged. Right now it's 11:16pm, Saturday August 18, 2007. So first I'd like to start this with greetings to people.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PACOPISH! >:)
THANK YOU AND BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LEA!
BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARIEL ZULAYBAR!
BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ATE KRIS! :-*

There we go. Now on to the people I would like to thank for my "wonderful" birthday..

To my only fun [advanced] celebration with friends
Thanks to.....

1. KIM for organizing it. Thanks sistah. :-*
2. ISA for helping and for the food. :D and for documenting it also. lol
   
3. ANA for helping also! Haha
4. BC for supposedly distracting me.
5. PAULINE for documenting it.
6. EUNICE for documenting it too.
7. ZARS for sitting beside me and making chismis with me. thanks sis! :D
8. KAYE TAN
9. MAICA
10. CARLIN
11. CARLA
12. ISIS
13. MARA P
14. GRACE
15. NINA SANTOS
16. ARMAINE
17. LEEANN
18. CHRISTINE
19. LEA
20. LORENA! :D
    
21. YONA
22. JAEHEE
23. BETS DOM
24. CAYLENE
25. MARION
26. BEA BONG
27. BEA A
28. MARI B! [Belated Happy Birthday! It was her birthday that day. (: ]
    
29. CATHY POBLETE
30. There. If I missed you, I AM SO SORRY. :D

Ok so that was Thursday lunch time. On to The Boutique.
Of course thank you lang to my family. Kami lang naman magkakasama dun eh. Special thanks to Jorik for insisting that we go. We had so much fun even if this was where I supposedly was bitten by the damned mosquito. :) I actually wore a mini skirt going to Tagaytay which was not the best idea because it was freezing at night. I was supposed to study there but ended up watching TV and playing Taboo the whole time. Funny place, their room service included aphrodisiacs.......and their bathroom was like a free "show" for the diners downstairs [they could totally see us. Good thing there was some kind of cover.]

Next day humabol kami ni kim sa YFC Last Cluster Assembly. Ang lungkot, we just joined and we didn't get to know the whole cluster. We're grouped by chapter now. But still, it was fun. Hahaha. Anyways, thank you to......

1. MARIEL Z
2. JELLIE
3. GABA
4. MONICA
5. DIANA
6. LANCE

for greeting me. Hehehe. Special thanks to Mariel since the assembly was at her house and she served good food. LOL

Sunday, my birthday. I got sick. :( As in high fever. As in frickin DENGUE. You know those times when you think "If this happens then I'm meant to do this." Mine was "If i get more than 16 greetings through text, I will live a long life." Guess what. I reached 27! Weeee! Long life baby! LOL So I would like to thank the following people for helping me reach 27 texts. :D
Thanks to......

1. TRACY [smart phone]
   
2. MARA P
   
3. NICOLLO
4. ZARS
5. BEA BONG
6. COVE GABA
7. RJ
8. PAT V
9. TRACY [globe phone]
10. DAVID/ GIO
11. TITO WILLIE/ TITA JOJIE
12. LANCE
13. GJ
14. BC
15. MARIEL Z
16. DIANA
17. MICA S
18. CHINKY
19. LOR
20. ANA DEL & BULILITS
    
21. PACO
22. ISA REY
23. MEGGIE
24. KEN J
25. DIGGY
26. ATE MIMI
27. LAUREN

Thank you! Haha! I put the names by order. The first three people greeted me in advance. Then Cove And RJ greeted me through Kim but still, throught text parin yun. :D There. That's by order pa ha. LOL

Thanks to the others who greeted:

1. FAMILY/ RELATIVES
2. MARTHA
3. CLAUDE
4. THE REST OF BATCH 2009
5. PEOPLE WHO ATE MY CAKE
6. GRACE - for the happy birthday smiley :D
7. PAM
8. NINA SAYOC

If I missed someone, sorry! And thanks parin.


So that's the birthday thank you's.
I'd go on and write an entry about the dengue part but it's 12:15am and my parents are getting mad at me. I'll make a short entry nalang on what happened today.